Atheism is bad for your health. How, you say? Well, it forces you to fill up your time with something other than religion. Religion is imperfect, but it gives a person some structure.
For another, atheism enables the flourishing of anxiety and depression. In a religious tradition you are supposed to put God first, never yourself. So the endless ruminating and dwelling in one’s own mind and about one’s own problems yields unnecessary self-destructive thoughts.
Then there is the absence of moral guidance. For years I argued with my conservative religious friends about who was more “moral.” I was a liberal and I was wrong. In my travels I learned that without a religion humans are deeply confused about right and wrong. Not the big things. All but the sociopaths get the big things, but we are confused about the smaller ways that we choose good and evil, right and wrong, leaving us vulnerable in the modern world.
My workplace is getting increasingly feminine. Not feminist, feminine. Casual dress is now allowed, teleworking is commonplace, and cooperation is valued more than any other trait.
Not too long ago, my workplace was all-male (auditing). Now it is approaching 70% female. Women are increasingly grabbing the top spots in the organization. The future is female, they comfortably say around here.
“Work-life balance” is the buzzphrase of this new era. Baby/wedding showers are a regular occurrence. I go occasionally because they have decent snacks, but I’m a little bit embarrassed, as any man should be.
Diversity training has become required for every employee. Disagreeing with the content may get you fired. There are a lot of LGBT month events around the vital issue of transgenderism. This is the “civil rights struggle of our time.”
Our counseling office- yes, we have a counseling office- increasingly offers classes and courses to protect each and every one of us from difficult emotions. Because, of course, painful emotions are the worst thing a person can encounter.
I’m currently watching Narcos on Netflix and finding myself in the strange position of being both repulsed by and kind of liking the character of Pablo Escobar. He is, of course, a horrible man. But he also is a good family man. He’s much like the Tony Soprano character- a likable, but pretty evil guy. He takes care of his family and he takes care of his crew members (for the most part). He is a provider and a protector, admirable traits to men.
This is why our culture needs stable, admirable archetypes. Without them, we start to gravitate away from the proper role model, JC.
Most people suffer from depression at some point in their lives or know someone who has. Here are seven things a depressed person can do to make life better almost immediately:
Establish a morning routine. Do you wake up at your girlfriend’s one morning, on your couch the next, and occasionally in your own bed?That needs to stop. A morning routine is critical to healthy functioning and when you start the day in disarray it usually only gets worse from there. So, wake up at roughly the same time every day, drink a glass of water, and do what you need to do to have a productive day.
Exercise. If you hate it, find a way to make it fun. It doesn’t have to be running marathons. Try rowing or swimming or bicycling or playing hoops. Again, just do something. And if you have a REALLY hard time doing it, then do it FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!
Build a spiritual practice. Buddhism, Catholicism, Quakerism, whatever. You might even be able to persuade me of the benefits of being a Wiccan. Regardless, though, JUST DO SOMETHING. Create a practice that helps you stay centered every day AND serves as a beginning or end point for every week. I know, I know, we all hate going to church. So add some fun to it like brunch or a giant latte or donuts. It’s important for many reasons. Foremost, it connects you with other humans. As a society we are facing an epidemic of loneliness. We need connection to other people. Try church, synagogue, meeting house, AA, whatever. Just something.
Make time for gratitude. You know when you’re sitting in Chick-fil-a on a road trip and you look over and the family next to you is praying before eating their meal? Yes, it’s awkward and a little embarrassing, but if you were to take 30 seconds 3 times a day to REMIND YOURSELF HOW FORTUNATE YOU ARE it might improve your outlook.
Figure out the patterns. We all have patterns of behavior that we repeat in our lives. Take some time to figure out which ones are holding you back. Are you overly focused on the superficial? Are you living up to your values? Do you keep dating the same types of people? It never hurts to work with a therapist, a coach, or even an app to help you figure things out.
Make a change. Maybe it’s time to get a new job or end a relationship or get a pet or move to a new city. Sometimes a dramatic change can shake you out of a rut. Now, don’t do anything that will hurt you in the long run- run it by a few people first- but explore the possibility of changing your situation, even if only for a period of time. Another simple idea- plan a vacation. Having something fun to plan and look forward to is half the fun!
Forgive yourself and others. Forgiving yourself is never easy and forgiving others isn’t always smart, but generally speaking, going down the path of forgiveness will only yield benefits for you. Explore readings and writing on forgiveness that might help you work through some of your thoughts and if nothing else works, try medicine.
The idea that women or girls in America have some relegated status behind boys is nonsense. Perhaps in some families and some cultures, but by and large, no.
Look at all of the data. Women outnumber men receiving college degrees, master’s degrees, and Ph.D.’s. Men far outnumber women in all of the “bad” categories except sexual assault- homelessness, being a victim of violence, incarceration, dying young, etc. The feminists say, “Well, men are victimizing each other.” So friggin’ what? If you’re murdered or robbed or beaten up, does it really matter whether it was perpetrated by a man or a woman?
The more pernicious elements of feminism also promote countless other false, terrible ideas like 1) careers are more important than children, 2) feelings and beliefs should be valued over facts, and 3) we live in a rape culture brimming with toxic masculinity.
If this were true, why are rapists the most hated offenders in our men’s prisons? Why would we endlessly hear that we need more women in STEM? Maybe we need more MEN in nursing? I’m basically okay with this one, but do we really need the relentless, unceasing emphasis on this? Can we just generally encourage boys and girls BOTH to get into STEM?
Worst of all, feminism is responsible for the gendering of suffering. By this I mean that feminism highlights and emphasizes upper middle-class white women’s victimhood over that of everyone else. No thanks.
There are a lot of gurus out there who will tell you to take a risk, let it rip, see what happens, outwork the competition, etc., etc.
Learn what you can while you’re employed and build your dream on the side. Run it by successful people, read some entrepreneurship books, and KEEP the day job until you’ve put yourself in a very solid position. If you have a 40-hour workweek, take a couple of hours every evening to work on your own business. Go into monk mode. Focus and write a solid business plan. Work out all of the details you can. Then launch. While keeping your day job.