7 Tips to Shut Down That Negative Inner Voice

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A negative inner voice can prevent you from reaching your potential. It can talk you out of starting a business or talking to an attractive woman or otherwise just make you miserable. Here are 7 things you can do to tame that negative self-talk:

  1. Learn to meditate. Meditation is a great way to pause and remind yourself that the nasty voice in your head is not helpful and not telling the truth.
  2. Build a spiritual practice. This is crucial for EVERY HUMAN. So many men are resistant to religion preferring to be ruled by “reason and logic.” This is total nonsense, of course. A spiritual practice grounded in gratitude IS the foundation to a healthy life.
  3. Forgive yourself. We all screw up. Some of us quite badly. But no one is beyond redemption. All of us, even Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, is doing the best we can with the information we have.
  4. Tell that voice, “Go f*ck yourself. Not helpful.” Bill Burr has a great rant about depression. In short, he argues that depression is something you have to keep at bay with anger.
  5. Try to identify it or the source of it. Give it a name. Sometimes it’s a parent. Or a mean authority figure. Try to figure out whose behavior it is modeling. This may help you realize how mean and nasty you are to yourself at times.
  6. Think about the advice you might offer a friend in your shoes. Write it down and read it back to yourself. Would you berate and abuse that friend and tell him what a worthless person he is? No!
  7. Distract yourself with music or a podcast or another mood changer. Sometimes you need to shake things up and change your mood. Music, a podcast, or an audiobook can all help to focus your attention away from that hateful voice.

5 Things to Do When You Feel Stuck in Life

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From time to time each of us gets bogged down in negative thinking. It’s inevitable. We may be sick of our job or in a dying or stagnant relationship and uncertain about the future. Here are 5 things to do when you’re feeling stuck:

1) Go on a retreat. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia used to advise harried people to go on a retreat annually to make time to reflect and step out of the rat race.

2) Travel. It never hurts to get a change of scenery for at least a few days to get you out of a negative pattern of thinking.

3) Talk to a therapist or a life coach. Men tend to be hesitant to do this. It is expensive and it can feel like a waste of time, but it’s important to check in with a professional from time to time.

4) Take some tests. Aptitude tests and personality tests can help you figure out what is holding you back. A few that I’ve benefited from over the years are:

Johnson O’Connor Research Foundation-
http://jocrf.org/
Jordan Peterson’s Self-Authoring Suite-
https://selfauthoring.com/
The Enneagram Institute-
https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/
Myers-Briggs-
https://www.myersbriggs.org/

5) Try to remember what truly motivates you. I always come back to this. The things that interest you and motivate you are often consistent over time. If they’re not, you may be depressed (see above).

The Grass Is Not Always Greener

The weather in Los Angeles may be a lot nicer than in Cleveland, but LeBron James is cleaning out his locker right now. Which reminds me of one of the most important lessons in life- the grass is not always greener. That dream job, that beautiful woman, that new side project you are contemplating changing everything for, may not work out. And that’s okay.

I’m not saying don’t try and I’m not saying take the easy path. Indeed, in America it is truly okay to fail and start over. But be smart about it. Prepare yourself as much as possible (without killing the dream) and learn everything you can while you’re in a stable situation. This will make it easier. Faith and confidence are crucial, but they will not succeed without preparation.

5 Reasons You Should NOT Telework

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Telework sounds like a lovely idea. It’s not! It’s just another way the Cultural Marxists are undermining norms in the western world. Okay, maybe it’s not quite that, but here are #5Reasons I suggest that you NOT telework if you have an office to go into or if you are debating about whether to rent one of those co-working spaces:

  1. Screws up your daily routine. Switching up your routine is great from time to time, but when you’re going into the office on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays it really messes up how you prepare for each day.
  2. Destroys the workplace esprit de corps. My office is now a ghost town every day except for Wednesdays. It’s a shame. It used to be a fun place to work.
  3. If you struggle with self-control, working from home can very easily worsen some already-bad tendencies like drinking during the day, smoking weed, and gambling online.
  4. Destroys the “specialness” of the weekend. If every day is kind of like Friday or Saturday, how do you really know the difference. This is also true for people who work unusual schedules. Someone’s got to do it, but there is a wisdom in the routine of Monday through Friday followed by the weekend.
  5. Overall, just undermines the discipline that humans need to flourish. With 1 day off out every 7, including a day filled with family activities, a person can recharge to be productive once again. Spend 1 day per week at home, maybe 2, but not 5 or 6. We need balance, but not that much work-life balance.

In fact, a much better way to telework is to do a few extra bits of work from your home office occasionally, like when you need to “work late” or take care of a sick kid. Not for full days and definitely not every day if you can avoid it.

5 Reasons You Should Get a Dog

My recently-adopted dog, Harper.

Dogs require a lot of work. You have to take them for walks daily, usually 3 times at a minimum (this post is primarily for urban dogs). They’ve got to be fed 1-2 times daily, groomed occasionally, trained if they act out. They can be a huge pain. Make sure you are up for it, but in most cases adding a dog to your life is a win-win for everyone. Below are 5 reasons you should get yourself a dog :

  1. You’ll never experience such unconditional love from anyone else. Your spouse might visit you if you went to prison but you can be sure your dog would.
  2. Humans, especially men, need a safe, comfortable outlet for showing affection for others. It’s not always easy to show affection when you’re a man. We all know this. It doesn’t turn us into incels or serial killers, it’s just more complicated than sobbing at a moment’s notice.
  3. Having a dog adds structure and discipline to your life. Discipline is the key to success in the future. 
  4. It’s the BEST protection for a home. I live in the city in a good, but formerly somewhat crappy neighborhood and I leave my doors unlocked all the time. Even at night.
  5. Connects you with neighbors. It builds community, gives you something to talk about with your neighbors and fellow dog owners, and helps you truly get to know your neighborhood. I remember living in downtown DC in my early 30s and not knowing ANY of my neighbors, until I got a dog. Suddenly everyone became so much friendlier.

There are all kinds of benefits. Go for it!

7 Tips to Shut Down That Negative Inner Voice

Photo by Craig Adderley on Pexels.com

A negative inner voice can prevent you from reaching your potential. It can talk you out of starting a business or talking to an attractive woman or otherwise just make you miserable. Here are 5 things you can do to tame that negative self-talk:

  1. Learn to meditate. Meditation is a great way to pause and remind yourself that the nasty voice in your head is not helpful and not telling the truth.
  2. Build a spiritual practice. This is crucial for EVERY HUMAN. So many men are resistant to religion preferring to be ruled by “reason and logic.” This is total nonsense, of course. A spiritual practice grounded in gratitude IS the foundation to a healthy life.
  3. Forgive yourself. We all screw up. Some of us quite badly. But no one is beyond redemption. All of us, even Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, is doing the best we can with the information we have.
  4. Tell that voice, “Go f*ck yourself. Not helpful.” Bill Burr has a great rant about depression. In short, he argues that depression is something you have to keep at bay with anger.
  5. Try to identify it or the source of it. Give it a name. Sometimes it’s a parent. Or a mean authority figure. Try to figure out whose behavior it is modeling. This may help you realize how mean and nasty you are to yourself at times.
  6. Think about the advice you might offer a friend in your shoes. Write it down and read it back to yourself. Would you berate and abuse that friend and tell him what a worthless person he is? No!
  7. Distract yourself with music or a podcast or another mood changer. Sometimes you need to shake things up and change your mood. Music, a podcast, or an audiobook can all help to focus your attention away from that hateful voice.

5 Reasons to Try Audiobooks

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A lot of us on the ADHD end of the concentrational spectrum, have a hard time with reading. I mean, we’re not illiterate, it’s just that we get so bored and space out quickly and frequently have to go back and reread what we missed. It ends up taking forever. I recently started listening to audiobooks and IT HAS CHANGED EVERYTHING! Here are #5Reasons you should try audiobooks-

  1. For some, makes it easier to focus. For whatever reason, I’m able to pay closer attention to an audiobook that I’m listening to than a book I’m reading. Hearing the words out loud makes it far more entertaining and stimulating than listening to my own internal voice.
  2. They’re perfect for driving, commuting, or flying. If you’re like a lot of us you don’t have much time to yourself. So, if you drive to work (or commute or fly regularly), rather than listen to that commercial-filled garbage on the radio, listen to an audiobook you’ve always been meaning to read. And then another and another.
  3. Increases productivity. Generally speaking, multitasking is bad for you. But listening to an audiobook while walking or driving or doing laundry is ideal for those with ADHD.
  4. You can plow through books faster. Audiobooks have various speeds at which you can listen to them. With a slow talker- not to be mixed up with a low talker- you can speed up the pace as fast as you want and absolutely plow through books!
  5. What a great learning opportunity. Think of all those classic books you avoided in high school or “read” using the Cliffs Notes version. Or countless other books you’ve always been meaning to read.

It’s not too late.